We all stand on the edge of an eternal abyss. Let’s face it; we are all going to die some day. We look into eternity with an equal sense of horror, at the senselessness of it all, and inspiration, at its majesty. But why are we so conflicted? Ours, science tells us, is an accidental universe devoid of meaning and our very existence nothing more than a chance happening. Yet our minds and our souls tell us something else.

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Criz: I wanted to thank you for agreeing to come on the show, especially after our last tragic encounter, you know where you killed my nephew.

Death: Well, he had it coming. He was a rather annoying little toad. I didn’t think anyone that dumb should live.

Criz: Well, I hear where you’re coming from. They did call him Stone for a reason.

[Both laugh]

Death: I understand you posted the text of the interview on some British website.

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When I was a small boy my family often vacationed at my Grandfather’s lake house in the Northwood of Wisconsin. I have many fond memories of the times I have spent at the lake, and the following narrative is just one of them.

One morning I woke up to the sound of my dad getting out of bed. He was, at that time, a young man, healthy, vibrant, funny, and full of life. He noticed that I was starting to move around and he held his finger to his lips indicating that I should be quite, something that I was not very good at. I climbed out of my sleeping bag, pulled on my socks and my untied shoes, and went to his side. He tousled my hair and motioned for me to follow him. We tiptoed past my mom and my grandparents as we made our way to the front door. A moment later we were looking at the glassy surface of Blockhouse Lake. My father then knelt down and tied my shoes, a skill I had yet to master. As he did I scanned the magnificent playground before me.

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The following top secret transcript was recently removed from the Library of Congress. It was part of a larger body of information marked "Oil, Demand, 1948". The following information couldn’t have been obtained without our crack agent Sandy Burger who smuggled them out in his underwear. (Note: All documents were fumigated prior to distribution)

Uncle Sam: Good morning Oil Monkey, may I call you Mo?

Oil Monkey: Of course Sam. How can I be of assistance?

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All of us have some reflex actions or as I like to call them "autopilots". For example, how many of you think really hard about using your turn signal when you are driving. Most of us don’t. Our hand seems to know instinctively what to do without our thinking about it. In most cases this is beneficial and helpful. After all, it would be pretty unpleasant if you had to make a concerted effort every time you had to do a repetitive task. However, if you are living on a submarine some of these "autopilots" can be dangerous and should be checked at the aft hatch.

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Any discussion on life aboard a submarine could go a hundred different directions. I could explain the different kinds of subs, military, research or tourism. I could discuss the capabilities of these subs, how deep they can go, how much power they pack. But to be honest even though I find this information interesting, I didn't want to do the research. So instead of a bunch of facts about subs let me relate a few tails of submarine life.

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The following top secret transcript was recently removed from the Library of Congress. It was part of a larger body of information marked “Top Secret – S&B”. The following information couldn’t have been obtained without our crack agent Sandy Berger.

Start of Transcript

R: That was a great party.

D: Oh yeah, lots of good music, and of course a buffet of illicit drugs.

R: And don’t forget the money. A room filled with lobbyists, what more could anyone ask?

D: I can’t think of anything, well except more power.

R: The ultimate aphrodisiac.

[Both laugh]

D: So, what is on the agenda tomorrow?

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Criz: Today our guest is PC Poobah I am glad you could join me today.

Poo: Call me Poo, and it’s good to be here.

Criz: Okay Poo, let’s get started. The term PC or politically correct is not new, in fact before it became fashionable in the United States it was in common usage in the Soviet Union where it was used to enforce the communist political orthodoxy. In the Soviet Union citizens who didn’t fall in line were demonized, persecuted, and sometimes killed, correct?

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Our little league baseball team had been formed at the last minute. Our coach had never coached a baseball team before and his job was made all that harder because of the soft-spoken, non-confrontational manner in which he managed the team. Our given team name was the "Bears" even though the front of our shirts read "Blaine Athletic Association." Unlike other teams that were able to get sponsors to buy them new uniforms and equipment. We were not. Being from a poor part of the city the only sponsor that we could get was the city, and the only thing that they provided was our tee shirts and our hats.

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Criz: Today’s interview is with a much maligned item in our culture, the box of rocks. I wanted to thank you for coming today.

Box of Rocks: Good to be here.

Criz: Over the years you have gained a reputation for being…lets just say not to intelligent.

Box of Rocks: Yes. Sadly that is the case.

Criz: How do you think you have come by the reputation?

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